What to expect when you’re NOT expecting

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After recently becoming engaged I was honestly astounded at the amount of times I was asked if I was pregnant.

I wasn’t exactly offended more surprised and little bit disappointed. Now don’t get me wrong, we are not an old-fashioned couple and in this day and age if you have a baby out of wedlock well it’s not the end of the world.

What was disappointing however was people assumed there must have been a need for us to get married, instead we were just an ordinary couple in love wanting to marry each other.
It lead me to ask the question, in this day and age how has marriage changed? Is it something we do because: oops there’s a baby on the way, you’ve been together so long and it’s expected, or God forbid you’re in love and just WANT to get married?!

I wondered if the expecting question had been raised due to the perceived short amount of time that my partner and I have been together. After moving in together after 10 weeks it shouldn’t have come as a shock to anyone when we became engaged after 15 months together. Strangely on the other end of the spectrum we got some ‘about time’ responses!
(I remember being given the ‘you’ll be next’ speech at a friends wedding 4 months after we started going out!)

Anyway, I decided to do some further investigating and was surprised to discover that over the past 100 years the number of marriages peaked in Australia in the mid 1970s at approximately 120,000 with the numbers rising from approximately 78,000 in 1900 to approximately 118,000 in 2006 (source: www.aifs.gov.au). What does this mean?
I have no idea! My opinion on the other hand and an uneducated on marriage opinion at that, is quite obvious really, that people get married for all different sorts of reasons, no matter the decade.

Those reasons may have changed from 1900 to now but as they say if everyone was the same and did things for the same reason, wouldn’t it be a boring world!
There’s obviously something great about marriage that keeps people coming back for more! So what are your top 5 reasons for getting married?
Some reasons I’ve stumbled across why we get married in no particular order:

  • Because you love each other;
  • To be free from parents;
  • To have sex;
  • To ease loneliness;
  • To be happy;
  • To be an adult;
  • Because of a pregnancy;
  • For money;
  • For immigration purposes;
  • It’s an expectation from family.

The moral of the story, even if you’re not expecting, expect anything and everything!

1 Comment
  • Pat Savill
    April 2, 2009

    Comment from your grandmother. I am surprised that so many people asked if you were pregnant. You may remember that I was not one of them!.Pregnancy is certainly not the dominant reason for mariage as it was some years ago when there was a stigma if you were an unmarried mother. On the contrary I know of some girls who have become pregnant while in a relationship and waited two or three years before getting married and then had the child in the wedding party. I think most women like the security of marriage. My friend Jan, who is 57 got married last year after living with Alan for 20 years, she was so excited when he proposed, she had a lovely engagement ring and a tradional wedding. Alan said he should have thought about it years ago. At least no-one asked if she was pregnant!!!

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