If someone were to ask my husband ‘is Ami a good wife’ I honestly have no idea what he would say! While I can’t wait to be a mum, and essentially a ‘housewife’ I don’t think I fit the description of what would be perceived as a good wife.
Yesterday a friend of mine alerted me to an article: How to be a good wife. After the reading the title my first reaction Pfft, this is going to be interesting. Then all of a sudden I thought I was back in the 1950s. Here’s some of what the article had to say:
Still, in an age in which women are remaining single later and later into their lives, it seems many women who I come across who are in their mid-30s, are now suddenly thinking that there’s an urgency to marry. Yet they fear they have no idea how to conduct themselves as “good wife material”.
“He’ll never want to marry someone like me … not if I don’t change,” one recently said to me. When I told her that a man should like her for all her quirks and foibles, she was quick to dismiss my opinion.
“Are you kidding? With so many younger, hotter women available, the person who possesses the most ‘wife material’ will win.”
While I’m not entirely sure I agree with her, my mother agrees wholeheartedly. After I recently cancelled an arrangement with her (it was due to a media commitment, not my dating schedule), she said that my flightiness proved I was “selfish and spoilt”, adding that “no man will want to marry a person like that”. Hmph.
Maybe I’d better listen to Watson’s suggestions of what “good wife material” consists of, which includes doing the following:
* Make him a priority. Not the kids. Not your exercise routine. Him.
* Have sex. Often and regularly, despite how tired you are, how late you had to stay at work or how much more appealing a Pilates class or glass of wine with a girlfriend sounds instead.
* Beware of resentment. You chose to marry the dude. You should be able to live with that decision.
* Be kind and supportive. That includes actually admitting when you’re wrong.
You can read the whole article HERE.
I mean seriously, make him a priority, not the kids. Yadda, yadda, yadda, give me a break! I didn’t sign up for a 1950s marriage, I signed up for a partnership. A partnership that requires give and take from BOTH partners. I rarely cook. Ok, I’ve cooked 3 dinners in 2 years. So really ok, I don’t cook. I do keep on top of the washing, and most of the time I keep the kitchen clean, but the rest of it is about working together to have a happy home and a happy life. And if hubby thinks for one minute that he isn’t going to have to change a stinky nappy, then he’s for a rude shock!
What also bothers me about this article, is the modern day woman who still believes that no one will want to marry her if she doesn’t fit the description or stereotype as a good wife. You can easily be yourself and have lovely quirks such as, ahem, not cooking, and still make a wonderful wife.
So let’s get personal! Do you think you’re a good wife?! Whatever that means!
And so just over a week ago after 8 months of planning we finally said our I do’s and I am now Mrs Ami Streeter! But before I pack away my crazy organising bride hat, I thought I would leave you with some final words of wedding wisdom! So here goes…
I’ve huffed and puffed about this before, but the best thing I found when planning our wedding was to treat it in a business like manner. The less emotional you get about things the easier it is to get stuff done.
And just because you’re dealing with people in the wedding industry, don’t necessarily think that they’ll go that extra mile. No-siree. We all remember the catering incident now don’t we! If not you can check it out here.
If you can, Bride’s, take the week off work before the wedding. Who knew there would be so many ‘little things’ that crop up that you a) had forgotten or b) never thought about in the first place! Oh and facials etc, do that the week before the week before!! No, sorry I’m not talking from personal experience, no horror skin stories here!
We had a fantastic day, but when people say enjoy every moment because it goes soooo quickly, believe me, they weren’t joking! Even though you start getting ready so early and it’s a big day, the ACTUAL wedding bit seems to just fly on by!
Some Do’s and Don’ts from the Ami wedding wisdom files:
- DO remember to eat!
- DON’T let the weather bother you. Easier said than done I know. Trust me oh how I know! As you can see our ceremony was outdoors. And after a hideous red DUST STORM on the Wednesday before, a hazy Saturday morning of the wedding had me slightly and silently stressed, while Mr Groomy was seriously stressed visiting the ceremony spot every hour to check out the weather and the wind! But thankfully for us all was fine, and even if it hadn’t have been, we had a plan B just in case. ALWAYS have a PLAN B!
- DO try and pack a little clutch bag that a bridesmaid can look after for you. Ie: lipgloss!
- DO let the train of your dress drag. Yes you’re wedding dress is going to get SERIOUSLY DIRTY! Mine’s now a lovely shade of pinky/red from the dust left over from the dust storm. But if you’re trying to hold your dress up in every photo, you’ll regret it, so trains down ladies!
- DON’t always stick to tradition if you don’t want to. I had a Man of Honour!! And we had a celebrant do the ‘legal’ bits of the ceremony and John’s brother did the rest of the ceremony or the ‘illegal bits’ as he like to put it!
- DO make a speech (Bride’s) if you want to. It’s not the 1950′s so ladies if you want to grab the mic and have a chat then off you go!
- DON’T wear your garter ALL day, unless the idea of some frilly scratchy material on your skin all day is your kinda fun! Keep it in your little clutch bag that your lovely trusty bridesmaid will look after for you and quickly duck into the toilet before the garter throwing and whack it on!
- DON’T throw your actual bouquet. Make a little fake bunch of flowers, from Spotlight or House & Garden.
- DON’T laugh too much at your new Husband constantly playing with his new wedding ring! Give it a week and he’ll forget he’s even wearing it!
- DO have fun with your wedding dance, if you don’t want to be too traditional! Stay tuned for the YouTube video any day now!
- DO have a bucket load of fun!! Oh and if you plan on busting some moves on the dance floor – make sure you’re shoes are comfy or change into a different pair! Or just whack on a pair of thongs like I did!
We decided to have a week off straight after the wedding, just to chill out up North. But many people save their Honeymoon’s until later on when they’ve had a chance to wind down from the craziness of the wedding whirlwind. Either way it’s just all about relaxing!
So now that the Honeymoon is over and we’re back home, we’ll just, well, we’ll just go back to how it was beforehand! Except now we can say Husband and Wife instead of partner, and I have a new name to get used to. And so begins the very long list of places I have to change my name! I have a feeling though that, that could be a whole other Puff Piece!
Oh and just remember, at the end of the day as wonderful as the wedding is, it’s the marriage that counts.