My breastfeeding story

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Sleeping Beauty

Breastfeeding is hard. These are words that every expectant mother will hear from someone at sometime during their pregnancy. But that’s just it – they’re just words. I heard these words & ‘knew’ breastfeeding would be hard. Knew in my head that is.

But physically I had no idea. I didn’t know what it would feel like to have cracked bleeding nipples. I ‘knew’ it would be bloody sore but until I actually felt it, I didn’t really know.

Ok so enough with inverted comma’s & italic words. You get my point that until you’ve actually physically felt something (yes childbirth comes under this category too) it’s really hard to know what you’re in for.

I was one of the unlucky lucky ones to have the milk gods smiling down on me. The day my milk came in I think I was in shock. To say that Pamela Anderson would have been proud is an understatement. Yep, the girls were huge. And rock hard.

All of a sudden my nice breastfeeding experience with my new bub had turned into a breast refusal, non latching, cup feeding nightmare. There were lots of tears. Her’s and mine. ‘Give it 24 hours and you’ll be amazed at the difference’ said the lactation consultant. 24 hours later: ‘Ok, maybe another 48 hours’. Thankfully she was right and eventually they did settle, Sophie decided she wanted to hang out with me again and say bah bye to those silly little cups and after a home visit from the most lovely lactation consultant we were back on track.

I’m still struggling with a little too much milk and some nasty blocked milk ducts, but we have our good days and our not so good days. But on the not so good days I just take one look at her beautiful little face and remind myself that it’s all totally worth it and this gorgeous cheeky little girl is all mine.

Well I’m glad I got that off my chest. Pardon the pun ;)

5 Comments
  • Naomi
    November 3, 2010

    It is hard, and difficult to explain to people… but oh my, when it gets working… I still miss that time, just me, my baby…
    it took me a few weeks to get it all under control. But was it worth it? Every sore nippled, toe curling, teary, milky moment. I’d do it agin in a heartbeat.

    xxx

  • Jaime {SWHHW}
    November 3, 2010

    I’m glad it’s starting to work out for you. You don’t realise how difficult it can be, then throw in a mix of hormones and a hungry baby it can quickly turn very bad.

    No one tells you that little mouth latching on can feel like razor blades, do they?

  • Kate
    November 3, 2010

    What a lovely piece Ami! You brought a tear to my eye! So proud of you, you are a wonderful mummy and your gorgeous little girl is very lucky! Stick at it, you can do it! It gets easier everyday! xox

  • Megan @ Writing Out Loud
    November 3, 2010

    Little Sophie is just beautiful, Ami!

    It is hard – but so worth sticking to if you can. It gets easier and easier as time goes by. All of a sudden it just clicks. Good luck xx

  • Jodie at Mummy Mayhem
    November 4, 2010

    Great post, Ami.

    Motherhood is all a steep learning curve with that first one, and I really think that how difficult breastfeeding is, is kind of pushed under the carpet a little when being discussed pre-birth. It was such a shock to me when it didn’t start off well!

    I’ll be honest – I never really enjoyed breastfeeding. There were times – for sure – when I’d look down at my baby, feeding away and think it the most gorgeous thing in the world, but admittedly I never really loved it. Having said that, as fate would have it – I breastfed my 1st for 12mths (then I weaned him), the 2nd for 8mths (he weaned himself) and the 3rd for 12 mths (he just decided one day that was that…and he never took the breast again). All three times I was relieved it was over.

    But certainly, I also have some fond memories of that time. The way they look up at you when they’re feeding sometimes..and my firstborn used to kind of stroke my breast during feeding which was so funny. Nice memories, but happy to be done.

    Hope it gets better and better from here. Whatever works, hon. xxx

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