Before I had kids I did what people tell you not to do and when asked about myself started with information on my job.
‘So tell me about yourself…’
Well I’m a Marketing Manager…. I work for an advertising agency managing client services….
Then I became a mum…
So what do you do Ami? ‘Im a stay at home mum’. ‘Oh great. Are you returning to work?’
‘Well I quit my job when I was 3 months pregnant with our first so we could go overseas then just did a bit of freelance work blah blah blah’… Cue verbal diahorrea about why I’m not going back to work.
You see the point to all this rambling is that I don’t know how to define myself anymore, a part from a mum.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am extremely extremely grateful that I am able to stay at home with our kids, and I really do enjoy it (most of the time!).
But for some reason I feel like I’m letting someone down by losing my career aspirations, I’m just not sure who that someone is.
Is it myself? Or my kids? Am I supposed to want more for myself? Should I be contributing to the family financially? Should I be showing my kids that I should be my own person as well as their mum?
Somedays I miss the whole work thing. The adult conversation, using your brain for other things besides the rainbow song & ABCs, getting to have a shower before lunchtime & actually doing my hair & make up & wearing nice clothes!
Maybe one day I’ll feel the drive to rejoin the workforce. Doing exactly what, I’m not sure. That’s the million dollar question.
For now, deep down, I know I’m happy being ‘mum’.