Judging parents…

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It seems that once you become a parent (even before the baby is born) you open yourself up to advice, from strangers and loved ones, wanted and unwanted, criticism and judgement.

We’re all guilty of judging other parents, and offering advice, but what happens when judgement is misplaced and unneccesary.

Recently someone commented that they can’t wait for John and I to have a second child, implying that we’d then appreciate how hard parenthood really is. Because apparently John shot their child ‘a look’ when their child was misbehaving and the parents were doing nothing about it. Did the comment piss me off much? Um, yes just a tad. To fully appreciate this comment, let me start at the beginning.

When I was pregnant there were many, many people rubbing their hands together smiling like a stupid cheshire cat waiting to see how my darling ex-bachelor husband would handle fatherhood. I even had the suggestion made to me that if we sold tickets there’d be a line around the corner wanting to catch a glimpse of John in the early days of fatherhood.

I could have easily jumped up and down telling everyone to stick there comments where the sun don’t shine, instead I smiled sweetly and rubbed my own hands together knowing full well they’d all be shot down when John turned out to be a wonderful Dad. I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t think he’d make a wonderful father. And of course his little girl came into the world, melted his heart and had him changing nappies before he could ask, what’s that smell?!

John’s own father even commented he was pleasently surprised at what a hands on Dad his son was. No pleasent surprise for me, I always knew he would be.

So our gorgeous daughter has been and is a wonderful baby, full of personality and cheekiness, a good sleeper and a good little eater. That’s not to say we don’t have shitty days or shitty nights, but over all we’d like to think we’re doing a pretty darn good job. So why not compliment this instead of being negative and making comments like the one that started this whole rant.

I don’t doubt that 2 kids is much harder than 1, but it doesn’t necassrily mean that you know more or are better parents then someone else because you have more children.

The most amazing pieces of advice usually come from those who don’t actually have children of their own. I was recently told that I needed to put more effort into my blog. I needed to get myself and Sophie into a routine and set aside blogging time for myself to improve my blog.

How nice would that be, regular time set aside for myself to blog. That would be great. In a perfect world. And we all know that said perfect world, unfortunatelty does not exist. While Sophie is in a great routine (thank you ‘Save our Sleep’) not everything is the same everyday. I’d love to say, right I’m going to blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. But what happens when Tuesday night Sophie screams for an hour at 11pm because her mouth is hurting from teething. Or we sit up at the hospital for 3hours from 1am because her temperature sky rockets to nearly 40 degrees. Or when I put her down for afternoon nap and sit down for my scheduled blogging time and she throws up all over her cot.

Unfortunately as I’ve mentioned before this blog has taken a back seat to motherhood, and rightly so. Posts are few and far between but blogging doesn’t always have to be everyday, or always 3 times a week. Most bloggers aren’t paid for their writing (happy for that to change if anyone wants to pay me!), it’s all for the love, and in my case, it’s cheaper than therapy.

So back to my original rant about judgement. At the end of the day, those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. And before you judge another parent, just remember, we’re all doing the hardest job in the world, all with different children, all with different beliefs. And don’t forget to look in your own backyard before criticising others.

Rant over.

  • Shelley
    January 31, 2012

    Rant away, it is your blog after all!! Motherhood opened up a whole new world of judgement that I would never have imagined. I try to follow that thought that what a person projects onto you is just their own insecurity or issue. xx

  • Jane
    January 31, 2012

    If blogging has taught me one thing, it’s not to judge others. Reading such a variety of blogs (including a lot of ‘mummy blogs’) has just opened me up to a million different opinions and beliefs. I like to think it’s prepared me for when I eventually enter into motherhood! All mums do the best they can, given their circumstances and nobody has the right to judge. xxx

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