“I felt like my uterus was going to fall out my fanny”

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These were the exact words that put my newly pregnant, over-stressed and over-analysing mind at ease.

I was all of 4 weeks pregnant and was cramping like there was no tomorrow. I was seriously panicked that it wasn’t normal. A quick trip to the doctor, I was told I had a stomach bug.

After chatting with my best buddy who is also pregnant with her first bub, I felt relieved that I wasn’t the only person in the world who felt like I had my period, but according to 5 pregnancy tests I wasn’t getting my period for at least the next 8 months!

And so following on from Megan from Writing Out Loud‘s gorgeous post: ‘They’ have a lot to answer for, a post about what they don’t tell you when you have a baby, I decided to jot down a few things nobody told me about being pregnant! Or maybe they told me, but I didn’t quite believe it to this extent!

  • You may possibly feel like your uterus is going to fall out your fanny. It may not be good, but it may also be normal, as your body changes.
  • Your boobs will hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah ‘they’ told me all about this, but my god do they HURT! Don’t even get me started on having to wear a bra in those early weeks. And accidently knocking the girls… OH. MY.GAWD! Nuff said.
  • You here about getting teary…. yeah well I’d get teary over my chicken not cooking properly at the best of times. Weeks 4, 5, 6 actually all of them so far, I’ve been a mess at anything sad. Watching the Black Saturday bushfires 12 months on, on Sunrise, I wasn’t teary. Nope. I was practically balling my eyes out. An honest and moving post about a lady who lost 5 babies. Yep, you guessed it I needed at least 2 boxes of tissues. And watching Grey’s Anatomy… I see you all nodding your heads in agreement there!
  • Being clumsy. I never considered myself a clumsy sort of person. I don’t usually drop or run into things and if I do I don’t really bruise that easily. No less than about a week after conception, still with no idea if I was actually pregnant or not, within 2 days I smashed my leg on the corner of our bed – massive bruise, kicked my little right toe, my big left toe, burnt my wrist on the hair straightener, grazed my other wrist on something, ran into the laundry doorway and hurt my left arm. A few days on from that I hit my other leg with the car door, and smashed my other leg AGAIN on the corner of the bed. Slightly higher this time with another lovely matching bruise.
  • Baby Brain. According to some stupid study that came out all of 3 days after I found out I was pregnant, ‘Baby Brain’ doesn’t exist. No doubt this study was run by a man, who of course has never been pregnant. Much to my disgust, Hubby saw this story on TV and since then has a had a field day! While there may be no scientific evidence of Baby Brain, I guarantee the tiredness just by itself makes you go a little bit nutty. If you’re looking for my cereal, don’t look in the pantry, nope, try the fridge. As with the sugar and washing detergant, try the fridge. Can’t find the milk? That’s probably because I put it in the pantry.If you’re catching up with me and say see you in half an hour, don’t forget to remind me that you were coming to my house. It’ll save me the panic attack 5 mins before we’re due to catch up worrying if I’m supposed to be on my way to your house.
  • Finding out what flavour you’re having. And no I’m not talking about icecream. I was always adamant I wanted a surprise whether we were having a boy or a girl, and that’s what we’re going to do. But by jeez it’s tempting! Tempting because I’m the most impatient person in the world, and there’d be far less baby names we’d have to flick through in the world’s biggest baby name book!

What did you experience when you were pregnant? Or if you haven’t had kids what have ‘they’ told you that you haven’t yet quite believed?!

  • Megan @ Writing Out Loud
    March 23, 2010

    Glad you liked the list – hope it didn’t scare you too much!

    My excuse for baby brain is that all of a sudden you have an extra two million things to think about, on top of the usual million things happening in a woman’s brain already. Tell your husband to stop picking on you and do something useful, like go and buy ice cream or something! ;)

  • miss carly
    March 23, 2010

    uh oh. i am not pregnant {yet..come back in a few years and i will let you know..lol} but i am already the clumsiest person. EVER. i walk into everything. the boyfriend actually worries about my lack of balance lol. and the bruises. massive ones. so easily too!


    but congrats on being pregnant! hope your bubba is healthy xx and happy!

  • Anj (@1writergrrl)
    March 24, 2010

    You’re on your way – yucky/annoying ‘symptoms’ and all :) The one that I wasn’t expecting was my sense of smell going wack-o. Living in Newtown I was used to all sorts of smells and never really noticed them. But once pregnant everything was pungent and off-putting. Walking down busy King St I was overcome by the smell of leather and couldn’t figure it out…until I passed a shoe shop down the NEXT BLOCK! ;)
    For more fun reading about interesting things ‘they’ don’t tell you about, I almost peed myself (several times) reading Jenny McCarthy’s book “Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy”.

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