Ever delivered your neighbours baby? Us either, until last night!
It was just a regular Monday night, sitting on the couch watching awesome trashy reality TV and suddently we heard funny yelling noises. We shusshed each other and searched for the mute button on the remote. At first we thought maybe it was a child yelling, then we thought it was someone yelling for a lost pet, and then it got the better of hubby and he went to investigate.
As I was peering out the front window, hubby comes running back from across the road, I flew open the front door and he exclaims, quick get some old towels, a lady across the road is having a baby.
Oh, um, HOLY SHIT! I raced upstairs grabbing the first old towels I could find and we both flew back across the road. The partner was trying to get the poor lady into the car and she didn’t make it and was lying on the front lawn, clearly in pain. I mean it was CHILDBIRTH for crying out loud! They quickly got towels underneath her, John sat down next to her and held her hand, which she promptly started squeezing the shit out of, the partner was on the phone to ambulance, and was clearly and understandably very stressed out. John tried to keep him calm, I ran out onto the street keeping an eye out for the ambo’s, praying they would hurry the fark up and suddenly the partner yells, Holy fark I can see the head!
Another neighbour came out and popped a pillow under the lady’s head and offered words of encouragement.
I’m standing there thinking, ok, ambulance HURRY UP! Then with about 4 more pushes out pops this tiny little perfect baby boy, straight into his Dad’s arms!
I spot the ambulance down the street and start waving my arms like a crazy lady. They pull up and take their sweet arse time getting out of the van, and I’m ushering them saying, the baby’s out, the baby’s out!! They were so calm and professional, grabbed their stuff, and did their thing. Clearly I would make a great calm ambulance officer… NOT!
So the Dad cut the cord, they wrapped up little William, checked out the mum, got her on a stretcher, and off her and her new baby boy went to hospital, followed by Dad in the car.
Talk about a surreal Monday night!