Different people, different opinion’s, different advice.

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When you have a baby anyone and everyone will want to give you advice. Actually scrap that. The minute you are pregnant before you’ve even popped the little bundle of joy out the pain in the arse lovely differing of opinion’s will begin. Even from people without kids.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually loved listening to other people’s experiences and what worked for them and what didn’t. (Except for the oversharing checkout chick who told me all about her emergency c-section when I was 8 months pregnant.) And thankfully most people that shared their stories with me, did just that; shared THEIR story and didn’t TELL me what I should or shouldn’t do with my baby. Operative word there, MY baby.

However, on more than one occasion I received different advice, medical advice in fact, on what I should do. And when people say just do what’s best for you, well, well that kinda makes it even more difficult. Because as a first time Mum I kinda didn’t know what I was doing. Hell, I still don’t know what I’m doing half the time! But Sophie and I plod along and we get through any problems, and seem to be figuring it all out along the way.

So a few weeks ago we started solids. I followed THE book we had been using. (Save our Sleep for those that are interested.) Because as a first time Mum I don’t mind admitting that I didn’t have a clue what she was supposed to eat first, or how much, and how often. I thought we were going along quite nicely. The first taste of rice cereal wasn’t a big hit. But seriously, have you tasted that stuff. Mushy cardboard was never going to be a tantalising taste for her little tastebuds. But throw in some pear or apple and her little mouth was opened so wide, the luna park smiley dude would be proud.

So then on Monday we went to Sophie’s 6 month check up with the Community Nurse. We talked solids and I said how she’s eating Pear, Apple, Carrot and Pumpkin and we were going to introduce potato and zuchinni this week. You can imagine my shock when the nurse said I should now be giving her meat, chicken, mince, you know like spag bowl, pasta was ok, and hey why not chuck in a little bit of garlic for extra flavour. Oh, and hold the food processor. Yep, no more pureeing. Just mash it with a fork.

Seriously. Hold. The. Phone. And shut the front door.

Beef. Chicken. GARLIC. I wanted to say to the nurse, Um WTF, but of course I didn’t. Instead I said oh ok. Then went home and madly flicked through THE book and whinged about not knowing what to do to my MIL and Mum. Then I thought back to the comment, just do what’s right for you. So I decided we’d try some lumpy fruit. I guess Soph can’t drink her food forever. Well not again until she’s about 90yrs old anyway. However the lumpy bits didn’t go down so well. Figuratively and literally. She screwed her nose up, her little eyes watered and then she gagged. I, clearly the Mother of the Year, pissed myself laughing. Along with my just as sympathetic mum. Poor Soph. Bless her little cotton socks. Just when she thinks life’s plodding along well we go and change the bloody rules on her. So I pureed the remainder of the lumpy food.

I wasn’t going to speed things up, but then I worried that she wasn’t getting all the nutrients she was meant to be getting. And iron. The nurse said lots of things about iron and meat. Talk about a daily dose of mother’s guilt. So I made up a big chicken and vegie thing in the slow cooker and have the meat on hand ready to go too. So I guess we’ll try bits and pieces slowly. I might step it up a little quicker than THE book, so we’ll see how we go.

And that’s because I decided that that’s what works for us. Still have no bloody idea what I’m doing though!

How did/do you handle different advice?

7 Comments
  • Little Miss Moi
    April 13, 2011

    I took some advice on board and learned that I’d been underestimating myself and the sprog. Some advice I wasn’t ready to take on board but I stressed myself out about lagging behind and being a bad mother as a result.

    And some advice I plain ignored. Like this advice about food. Ridiculous! I remember the clinic nurse gave me a brochure about eating holly aide etc by 8 months and it was published by HEINZ! Clearly just trying to sell products to mothers by telling that they NEED it. What a load of rubbish. I ignored it, kept it smooth and simple until about 9 months, and started giving ‘normal’ meals at about a year. In fact after a year I tried everything, even slightly spicy foods.

    Annabel Karmel’s complete food guide for babies and toddlers is an amazingly good resource. I used it as my bible. And I never gave the sprog rice cereal – yuk!

  • Thea
    April 13, 2011

    That drove me up the wall!!! Seriously the most frustrating thing about being a new mum.

    All I’m saying right now for you my love is….my 6 year old boy still won’t eat meat. He’s healthy, he’s happy…don’t stress about anything! xxx

  • Louisa
    April 14, 2011

    Free advice it drives. me. mental.

    When I was pregnant with #2 EVERYONE from my grandmother to the delivery man at the supermarket told me, or my husband!, that we should have a boy and be done. (Our eldest is a girl). It seems a boy & a girl is the perfect deal.

    AGH!

    And now I am going to refrain commenting on the food issue lest I do the very same thing to you BUT if you want tot alk about food let me know, my eldest will eat anything and everything and my baby, also 6months is pretty much the same thus far. Happy to chat strategy if you’d like.

  • Marissa Roberts
    April 14, 2011

    I use the Gina Ford books with my Sophie and it’s made my life as a mum so much easier. I know books aren’t everyone’s cup of tea (which is fine) but they work for me and Sophie.

    I’m a big believer in go with what feels right for you. Whether it’s your gut instinct, advice from others or books, it should be whatever you are comfortable with.

    Sounds to me like you’re a great Mum :)

  • Nicole
    April 14, 2011

    I recently bought THAT book but only for the sleeping part, we loosly follow the routine, i.e at 7 months my baby “shouldn’t” need 3 sleeps but he falls asleep in his bouncer any way so I put him down for his 3rd sleep.

    Just take what you need and discard the rest, every baby is different. Also, my boy likes to sleep on his tummy GASP! Everytime, I have to go in and move him.

  • Madeline
    April 14, 2011

    Really, there is no one right way. There are many ways that all work and different ways will work for different babies. People like to give advice but just because something worked for their baby doesn’t mean it will work for yours. It would be nice if there was one straightforward set of guidelines to follow but you just have to go with what works for you and your baby which it sounds like you are doing! So I say you’re doing fine. :) If Sophie is not happy you will know and you will change things and you will muddle through together.

    That said…and feel free to ignore this…have you read any of the baby-led weaning literature? Basically the premise is that until one babies get their main nutrients from milk feeds (formula or breast) and food is about exploring and learning. No purees and baby self-feeds from the beginning. We used this method with our daughter (now 3) and plan to start with our son this weekend.

    Whatever method you use they all end up eating and feeding themselves eventually!

  • Sarah
    April 14, 2011

    Just follow your instinct. I have a 1 and 2.5 yr old and they were both completely different. Bub 1 ate mush until around 8 mths (I pureed the meat) bub 2 ate toast (I’m not kidding) from 4 mths. Refused all mush and went straight to soft pieces of finger food. Your little person will guide you. You really can’t go wrong super mum!

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