We’re all guilty of judging other parents, and offering advice, but what happens when judgement is misplaced and unneccesary.

Recently someone commented that they can’t wait for John and I to have a second child, implying that we’d then appreciate how hard parenthood really is. Because apparently John shot their child ‘a look’ when their child was misbehaving and the parents were doing nothing about it. Did the comment piss me off much? Um, yes just a tad. To fully appreciate this comment, let me start at the beginning.

When I was pregnant there were many, many people rubbing their hands together smiling like a stupid cheshire cat waiting to see how my darling ex-bachelor husband would handle fatherhood. I even had the suggestion made to me that if we sold tickets there’d be a line around the corner wanting to catch a glimpse of John in the early days of fatherhood.

I could have easily jumped up and down telling everyone to stick there comments where the sun don’t shine, instead I smiled sweetly and rubbed my own hands together knowing full well they’d all be shot down when John turned out to be a wonderful Dad. I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t think he’d make a wonderful father. And of course his little girl came into the world, melted his heart and had him changing nappies before he could ask, what’s that smell?!

John’s own father even commented he was pleasently surprised at what a hands on Dad his son was. No pleasent surprise for me, I always knew he would be.

So our gorgeous daughter has been and is a wonderful baby, full of personality and cheekiness, a good sleeper and a good little eater. That’s not to say we don’t have shitty days or shitty nights, but over all we’d like to think we’re doing a pretty darn good job. So why not compliment this instead of being negative and making comments like the one that started this whole rant.

I don’t doubt that 2 kids is much harder than 1, but it doesn’t necassrily mean that you know more or are better parents then someone else because you have more children.

The most amazing pieces of advice usually come from those who don’t actually have children of their own. I was recently told that I needed to put more effort into my blog. I needed to get myself and Sophie into a routine and set aside blogging time for myself to improve my blog.

How nice would that be, regular time set aside for myself to blog. That would be great. In a perfect world. And we all know that said perfect world, unfortunatelty does not exist. While Sophie is in a great routine (thank you ‘Save our Sleep’) not everything is the same everyday. I’d love to say, right I’m going to blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. But what happens when Tuesday night Sophie screams for an hour at 11pm because her mouth is hurting from teething. Or we sit up at the hospital for 3hours from 1am because her temperature sky rockets to nearly 40 degrees. Or when I put her down for afternoon nap and sit down for my scheduled blogging time and she throws up all over her cot.

Unfortunately as I’ve mentioned before this blog has taken a back seat to motherhood, and rightly so. Posts are few and far between but blogging doesn’t always have to be everyday, or always 3 times a week. Most bloggers aren’t paid for their writing (happy for that to change if anyone wants to pay me!), it’s all for the love, and in my case, it’s cheaper than therapy.

So back to my original rant about judgement. At the end of the day, those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. And before you judge another parent, just remember, we’re all doing the hardest job in the world, all with different children, all with different beliefs. And don’t forget to look in your own backyard before criticising others.

Rant over.

Ready for the show!

The Entertainment Centre was buzzing with excitement and full of kids dressed up as their favourite Disney character all ready to watch the show.

When the music started, Sophie was into it! Dancing and wiggling her little bum. Unfortunately when the music stopped at the talking started she wasn’t as keen, but she is only 15 months old. As soon as the music started again she was dancing and clapping!

Checking out the seats.

Dancing with Minnie!

The Grandma a couple of rows in front us was also having a ball. Clapping and singing along to all the words!

The show really was great. Very colourful and exciting. I have to say, I think the highlight for me was Sebastian the crab from The Little Mermaid doing Beyonce’s Single Ladies!

Sebastian does Single Ladies!

Sophie's 1st Icy pole!

Clearly Mickey and Minnie Mouse were Sophie’s favourites. As soon as they were on stage she was mesmerised!

Hopefully they will be back again when Sophie is a bit older, so I can take her again!

Sophie sit still for this? I don't think so!

Motherhood is challenging. Some challenges are easy to overcome and some reduce you to tears. But this latest challenge with Miss Sophie rivals climbing Mount Everest. As in climbing Mount Everest would be easier. Easier than what? Well I’m glad you asked. If you asked Sophie, and if she could talk she would tell you that her father and I were trying to amputate her little chubby fingers and pull her little toes out one by one from her little chubby feet.

But no my dear friends, this isn’t what we are trying to do at all. We are simply trying to cut her fingernails and toenails. It’s such an ordeal that we have given up many a time. But it’s now getting to the point where we could enter Soph into the Guinness Book of records and give that fingernail lady a run for her money.

We’ve tried while she’s having her bottle, while she’s munching on food, while she’s chilling out playing with toys. But no luck. I think at this rate if we get one a week cut we’re doing well.

I’ve contemplated cutting them in her sleep but once she’s asleep I daren’t wake her up so I chicken out!

My next brainwave is to cut them while she’s asleep in the car. So all we need to do is plan a big drive where she’ll fall asleep, I’ll sit in the back and chop away and problem solved. Now we just need to find the time!

I’m hoping as she gets older she’ll understand what we are doing!

How do you get your little one to stay still while trying to cut their fingernails and toenails?

Don’t forget to enter the Disney Live ticket giveaway!

You could be watching Disney Live! soon...!

It’s easy peasy to enter. All you have to do is leave a comment on this blog post, (you’ll see the comment button at the end of the post) telling me who your or your kids favourite Disney character is. Then ‘Like’ Puff Pieces on Facebook. Just click the ‘Like’ button on the Facebook box to the right or head HERE to my Facebook page. Yep, it’s that simple!

You can only enter once, and the competition will be open for 2 weeks, closing on Monday 12th December 2011 at 7.30am. The winner will be chosen at random by www.random.org and will be announced here on Monday 12th December 2011 at about 9.30am, and also posted on Puff Pieces Facebook page and notified by email.

So what are you waiting for… start ‘Liking’ and commenting away! Good luck!

Abu the monkey!

Growing up, Aladdin was one of my absolute favourite movies. I thought Abu the monkey was the cutest thing I’d ever seen and Princess Jasmine the most beautiful. I wished that I could have a pet tiger and sing like she did. A Whole New World was my favourite song and I’d belt it out off tune all the time. Their adventures looked like so much fun. And who wouldn’t want their very own Genie and magic carpet!

The best thing now about having kids? It gives you the perfect excuse to relive these memories, watch the movies and introduce them to the wonderful world of Disney.

Watching Sophie bop around, wiggling her bum to the beat of any music, including ad’s on TV often has me in hysterics, so I can only imagine what she’ll be like when we go to the new Disney Live! show in January! The all dancing, all singing cast full of all our favourite Disney characters will no doubt have plenty of tiny little feet tapping and little bums wiggling to the beat of the music. I’m so excited and can’t wait. I mean Sophie’s so excited and can’t wait. Ok, so she doesn’t even realise she’s going yet, so I’m excited enough for the 2 of us!

Disney Live is coming to Newcastle Entertainment Centre on January 17-18. Tickets are already on sale through Ticketek. Follow the link HERE.

The whole Disney Live! gang

And don’t forget to stay tuned for a very exciting Disney giveaway next week! Yes I will have 4 tickets to give away to one of the Newcastle shows!

So when I finally got through all the sorting and filing this morning, I sat down to pay the latest round of bills. I had noticed something strange between our 2 water bills  (we own 2 properties in the same suburb) and had mentioned it to hubby and he asked me to call and suss it out. So that I just did.

The lady couldn’t give me any information because I wasn’t an authorised person on the account. You see all our bills are in hubby’s name. I moved in with him and of course everything was already set up, I never thought to have myself added to any of the accounts. Until today.

It got me thinking… What if something happened to hubby, God forbid, touch wood, and all that jazz, I NEVER want to be in that situation. But what if something did and suddenly I technically didn’t have access to any of this information. (Even though I’m the one who pays the bills!) I’m sure there are ways to handle situations like that, but knowing the shite we have been through with companies just for the simpliest things, like a new gas connection, (yes AGL I’m talking to you), I can only imagine what a shit fight it would be should something happen to hubby.

It is my job as Home Manager, Mum Extraordinaire, Domestic Goddess, whatever you’d like to call us super hero mum’s, to keep bills, household stuff in check. But to the outside world I have no technical right to any of these accounts or their information. And quite frankly for a few seconds it scared the beejesus outta me.

Of course this is all very easily fixed and hubby just has to call and have me added on as an authorised person. And this is exactly what we are going to do. Poor hubby doesn’t even know what nagging is about to hit him.

It made me realise that we need to get our butts into gear. It’s not just hubby and I anymore, it’s Sophie as well. After Sophie was born we finally got our life insurance sorted. After Sophie was born, hubby started wearing a life jacket when paddling out on the harbour. After Sophie was born we started writing our Wills. Unfortunately though they still aren’t finished.

It’s amazing what having a child can make you do in terms of organising your life and preparing for the future, and unfortunately preparing for the worst, even though it may and probably, hopefully will never happen.

Have you ever had an oh shit gotta get that sorted life moment?

But there’s a few more things that change, including our attitude towards things like, staying up late and having clean clothes…

You know you’re a mum when…

• Your baby dresses better than you do.

• You never leave the house without some form of milk/food stain accessorising your clothing.

• Mini cupcakes are a good enough breakfast for you because you forgot to eat, are starving, running out the door and haven’t done the groceries.

• If you’re still awake at 8.30pm you’re cheering, 9.30pm must be a special occasion, 10.30pm whoa hold onto your hats, that’s like 3am in pre-mummy speak.

• A 20% off kids clothes sale at Target is the highlight of your day. No week. No, actually month.

• You enjoy going nuts at said Target sale and would rather shop for kids things than things for yourself.

• Drinks at the pub are replaced with picnics at the park.

• Dinner parties are replaced with daytime BBQs.

• You talk far too much about poo.

• You celebrate bubs every burp, and fart, the relief so great you might as well have done it yourself.

• Your boobs become part of everyday conversation.

• You’ve never had so many random people talk to you.

• Having a baby is by far your greatest achievement.

• The only place you want to be in the whole world is at home with your little family.

What would you add to my ‘you know when you’re a mum list’…?

So when I was approached through this blog to jump on the latest Disney show promo bandwagon, I was of course tickled pink!

And this just isn’t any old Disney stage show. No siree, this is Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Festival!

The whole Disney Live gang!

Mickey Mouse and his band of friends, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy, will perform in the musical extravaganza these summer holidays, and the show is coming to Newcastle! Joined by Disney favourites, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, and Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story, this fun-filled concert experience will entertain the whole family!

Disney hits are remixed to the hottest sounds of today featuring hip hop, pop, swing, reggae, rock, country and much more! The line up of performers including, Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy, Ariel, Sebastian and Ursula; Jasmine, Aladdin and Genie, Woody, Buzz and Jessie are among the more than 25 Disney stars featured in this jam session!

You won’t be able resist dancing, singing, playing your air-guitar and laughing with this band of characters!

To get your foot tapping, check out the video below!

This awesome show will hit the Newcastle Entertainment Centre on January 17-18. Tickets are already on sale through Ticketek. Follow the link HERE.

And just to top it all off, Puff Pieces will have 4 tickets, yes 4 tickets to give away to one of the Newcastle shows! Stay tuned…!

1 today!

The day you find out you’re pregnant all you can do is think about meeting your little one. For me, I felt like I was pregnant FOREVER. Even my sister in law commented she felt like I had the longest pregnancy in history! But then once you have that tiny little newborn in your hands, time does something totally cruel and decides to speed up. That newborn stage is scarily quick. Blink and you’ll miss it. Blink again and your baby will be turning ONE!

One minute she’s rolling for the first time. Then next she’s sitting on her own, then all of sudden she takes off crawling down the hallway at a million miles an hour, starts understanding what you’re saying to her and happily obliges to a cuddle request, pulls herself up on her feet desperately trying to reach her puppy dog Jack snoozing on the lounge and then starts scooting around the furniture on her feet! And while I watched and encouraged her with excitement and pride I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t genuinely shocked at how fast everything kept happening!

And now today, our tiny little squishy gorgeous chubba bubba with the big blue eyes, ringlets framing her beautiful little face and her Daddy’s big chubby cheeks turns ONE.

A whole year since we welcomed Sophie Grace into the world on that very special date 10.10.10.

Miss Sophie you have bought more smiles, laughter and joy into our lives than we ever could have imagined. Happy 1st Birthday beautiful girl! xxx

I remember when I got my period after the first month we had being trying to have a baby. I was so upset. I sat there and cried. And then I realised how stupid I was being. It was only the first month. There were women out there who were feeling what I was feeling times by 50,000 for the 12th unsuccessful month in a row. I felt guilty, and knew I had to calm down and be patient. I didn’t know at the time that next month I would be pregnant. I was lucky. But this story isn’t about me.

It’s about my friend Kristy.

Kristy got married, had already been off the pill for 3 months and was convinced she’d be pregnant for her wedding. That was 5 years ago. By Christmas 2006, she still wasn’t pregnant. In January 2007 Kristy started a new job, (her new boss was aware she and her husband were trying for a family) and by March 2007, she decided it was time to go and have a chat to her GP. Kristy had fallen pregnant when she was 20 and decided not to go through with the pregnancy, so she knew she could fall pregnant.

Sadly, Kristy’s GP was not the kind helpful person she should have been and told her “10 months of trying is NOT 12 months of trying, we don’t run any sorts of tests for you and your husband until you’ve been trying to conceive naturally for 12 months”.

Kristy recalls her anger, “You could only imagine how I reacted. I virtually told my GP to get f***ed!!”

Thankfully Kristy found a new, more helpful GP who was more than happy to run some tests. The tests began with Kristy having blood tests every month for a few months to see if she was actually ovulating. Turns out she was. Like clock work.

Panic set in. “All my bits and pieces were doing what they were supposed to do. What else could possibly be wrong? It’s NEVER the man’s fault!!” recalls Kristy.

So once the GP realised everything seemed “normal” with Kristy, she suggested that they be referred to a fertility specialist.

Kristy recalls her reaction to infertility: “We had NO idea of what was going on and were very unaware of the whole idea of infertility and what it entailed. Hmmm how quickly that changed! We scheduled an appointment with Dr Raymond, (a Newcastle OBGYN) who I had heard was very pleasant and professional. He ran some more tests on both of us. So I went in for a laparoscopy just to check everything was correct on the inside, and the results come back all normal.”

So the testing turned to Kristy’s husband Scott. “Scott had his sperm tested and it came back abnormal, slow swimmers and very low count. His coping mechanism was ignorance. In true male fashion he became super withdrawn and didn’t really deal with it at all. So I just took over the situation with my ‘I can do anything’ attitude and just got on with it and at no time was prepared to let this stop us having a family” says Kristy.

“I’ll never forget, when we were back at Dr Raymond’s rooms discussing the results, it was December 2007 by this stage. He said the only way you are going to conceive a child together is with assistance and more than likely that it would be IVF.”

Throughout the trying naturally, and all the testing she endured, Kristy never specifically thought ‘why me’, but like any woman trying to conceive was frustrated when she thought about ‘those families’ who had numerous children, with numerous different father’s, or witnessed a mother yelling and swearing at her child. Or as Kristy puts it, “the people that try to get pregnant for 5 minutes and end up with bloody twins!”

After their discussion with Dr Raymond, Kristy and Scott had no doubt in their minds that IVF was the way to go. So Kristy did what most women like us do, she researched. And researched. She wanted to know what they were getting themselves into, and once they’d gotten their head around all the information their decision was made.

And the cost? Of course everyone asks about the cost. At the time Kristy’s only thought was “F*** the cost. We want a baby let’s just get on with it.” Kristy wanted to get on with it so much so that she wanted the first IVF cycle to happen ASAP before Christmas 2007! Dr Raymond suggested otherwise and advised them to enjoy the Christmas/New Year holiday and start fresh in the new year.

I ask Kristy if during all this they ever considered adoption? Kristy doesn’t hesitate, “Never”.

And so their IVF journey began in January 2008. They went through 7 attempts with Dr Raymond and Hunter IVF and sadly, not once, not once did they fall pregnant.

I ask Kristy how she coped. “I had no idea, at first, what to expect with IVF, but my fear of needles, was very short lived!! After all the blood tests, then having to inject hormones into myself, needles and I are now the best of friends!! I NEVER thought I would be able to inject myself and do what I did, but my eye was always on the prize of eventually having a positive test and having a baby. After I got over my needle issues, I felt like I could pretty much conquer anything! But nothing can prepare you for IVF at all.

“Not once did it ever cross my mind, (ok maybe once!!) that I was never going to be a mum. I just drew so much strength from within and made people aware of where we were up to. I had the full support of my immediate family and close friends. I also told my boss and he was more than accommodating with whatever I needed. Emotionally I just saw it as something I wanted so bad, that I/we were NEVER prepared for it not to happen. After each attempt we always had something positive planned for either celebration or commiseration, like a really nice dinner or a weekend away, shopping trips, long drunken nights out if needed!”

After their 7 failed attempts, they decided to change to Sydney IVF and Dr Shumack. Their first 2 IVF attempts sadly resulted in miscarriage. “But at least we were finally moving forward and getting results” says Kristy.

“I remember our first appointment with Dr Shumack once we had our first cycle and positive result. It was our 6 week scan and he couldn’t get a heartbeat. He escorted us out of his office through a secret exit, so we didn’t have to go back through the full waiting room of pregnant women. Then said he would look after everything and keep me posted. Within 2 hours his receptionist had organised a curette and off to hospital we went. AMAZING how quickly things happen and SO professional and sympathetic.

“After our second cycle a similar thing happened again, no heartbeat and then another curette organised within 24 hours. All the staff at Sydney IVF were very compassionate and explained EVERY little step of what was going to be happening.”

Their third attempt could not have had a more wonderful result. Kristy and Scott were finally parents to be and made the magic 12 week mark in April 2010!

Naturally Kristy had worries throughout her pregnancy. “I was secretly extremely anxious the whole pregnancy, and until I held my baby in my arms, that’s when I would know that we finally had our long awaited baby!

“I had a flu vaccination at 14 weeks which was recommended by my Obstetrician, and I had a massive reaction. I had a rash and hives all over my whole body and no one knew what was happening or could explain what my body was doing. Then all my joints just ceased up, I was flat on my back for 6 weeks. I could not move at all, just stuck in the one position. I had appointments with skin specialists, arthritis specialists; I was on first name basis with every specialist known to mankind, and still no answers. Scott thought I had some sort of cancer and would never recover. Every time I saw a new doctor, I was like I don’t care what happens to me but NOTHING I repeat NOTHING must happen to my baby. Once I finally recovered I had a dream pregnancy, no issues, and worked up until 10 days before my due date.”

Kristy, Scott and beautiful baby Stella

And so on Saturday 16th October 2010, right on time on her due date, beautiful little Stella Rose was born. After a very long labour with little progress happening in the dilation department, Kristy on the recommendation of her Doctor had a caesarean.

“Finally I had my baby, a priceless moment, words can’t describe the feeling.”

After their 5 year journey, little baby Stella finally made them a family of three. So will another baby make 4?

“We are in the process of discussing wether we would do IVF again. We have 4 frozen eggs, which means the egg has been implanted with sperm and has grown for 3 days then snap frozen, so our eggs are that of the age when they were taken out of me, which was 34.

“At approximately $4,500 per egg transfer and NO guarantee of a sibling for Stella, and also the rebate has changed dramatically, so we are now out of pocket around $3,600 every transfer. If we had to do a whole new cycle to produce eggs it’s approximately $9,000 with out of pocket expenses about $7,500.

“Not that we have ever put a price on it, but at the end of the day all of this money could go to bettering Stella’s life. In the next breath it would be sad for Stella not to have a sibling. Stranger things have happened; we may even end up conceiving naturally. Currently we are not using any contraception, so just running with wherever the journey takes us at this point in time. But another IVF cycle is certainly not out of the question.”

And how did Kristy’s marriage fair through this journey? “It certainly made us appreciate each other a lot more and realise the sacrifices we were prepared to make to have a baby and made our relationship much stronger. It’s pretty much the hardest thing we’ve had to deal with, well at least this far anyway. Certainly I think it changed us for the better.”

Thank you Kristy for your openness and honesty, and for allowing me to interrogate you and tell your and Scott’s story. It takes a brave couple to commit to the up and down journey that IVF is. I guess those mummy instincts kick in long before your baby is born. And such a wonderful happy ending, beautiful baby Stella.