The Competition Mum

OC 'Real' Housewife, Alexis.

The other day I was watching The Real Housewives of Orange County (don’t judge, it’s my weekly treat of trashy TV) and there were 2 mum’s going back and forth as they walked their kids to the park: “My child was toilet trained in like 2 weeks.” “My child did it quicker.” “Well my child is the most attentive in class”. Yadda yadda yadda, you get my drift.

This came after watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (ok, I’m addicted to ALL The Real Housewives!), and the SHOCKING amount of money that these women spent on their children’s birthday parties. This poor little 4 year old girl, was so overwhelmed by her Alice in Wonderland themed party she hid away from the party and played on a swing with her Nanny. The party, which included diamond necklace thank you gifts for all the children cost $60,000. Yep you read correctly SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. The comparison kids birthday party on the show, $3,000. Yep, still THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Absurd.

My biggest fear about becoming involved in a Mother’s Group was judgement and competition. After reading Jodie’s Mother’s Group Post I was even more nervous. And of course more than pleasently surprised when Sophie and I found ourselves in the best Mother’s Group ever!

I’m extremely grateful that none of our friends with kids are the competition type people. In fact, the only competition is who can find the cheapest cutest baby clothes! Friends of our’s who had a baby a few months after Sophie was born, are what you’d call comfortable, money wise. You might even say, well off. Yet we happily shop together at Big W, gloating at our $5 finds and comparing (in a good way) the awesome hand me down’s we’ve scored off generous family and friends.

Comparing Newcastle to Orange County is of course ridiculous. The people that are in our lives are not plastic fantastic and of course neither are we. It’s not important to us what brand of clothing Sophie is wearing, or how much her toys cost. It’s important to us that she’s happy and healthy. I couldn’t live in that fake world, and I even find myself cringing as I watch these women on TV. It’s like a car wreck… You don’t really want to watch, but my God you just can’t help yourself!

Have you been faced with a competition mum? How did you handle it?

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Soberholics Anonymous

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I’ve done my fair share of drinking. I’ve drunk too many raspberry vodka and lemonade’s, thrown up all night and dragged my sorry hung over arse to work the next day, slouched over the till, feeling sorry for myself, while eating a bad sausage roll. Yep, they were the good old Uni days.

But these days, even before I became a Mum, me and drinking just weren’t really into each other. You know how they say you forget the pain of childbirth, otherwise you wouldn’t have any more kids? Well I remember all too well, how much that baby hurt coming out my va-jay-jay, but you get a baby at the end of it. A tiny little beautiful baby to love for the rest of your life.

Drinking on the other hand, leads to a hang over. A pain that doesn’t bring such happiness. I liken my attitude to soberness to my friend Jen’s philosphy on her house. You see Jen and her partner recently moved into a new house. We visited a week or so after they moved in. Naturally there were boxes. Lots of boxes. Jen looked at me and said, “You know I could unpack the boxes and get the house looking all clean and tidy. But really, I just couldn’t be bothered.”

And that’s how I feel about drinking. On the very rare occasion that hubby and I have had the opportunity to have a drink since Miss Sophie came along, I just couldn’t have been bothered. I couldn’t be bothered to feel tired and sick the next morning and have to look after a baby on top of that.

Recently at my hubby’s 40th birthday, I think I may have had half a glass of champagne and spent the rest of the night on lemon lime and bitters. Sophie was having her first sleep over at my Mum’s but we still had to collect her sometime the next day. I’m no good on small amounts of sleep, let along hung over as well. A friend was worried that I didn’t have a good time at the party because I wasn’t drinking. I guess I can see why some people would think that, but I had a great time catching up with all our friends who we just don’t get to see as much as we used to, now that a lot of us have kids. And the next day while I was seriously tired (2am is waaaaay past my bedtime) I was very thankful that I didn’t have that seedy headachy feeling to go with it.

Who knows, maybe in the future I’ll enjoy a glass of wine or two, you know, like grown up’s do. But in the meantime I’ll just keep reminding hubby what an awesome wife he has…. A reliable designated driver!